Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Oh boy, it's time for one of those titles. The ones I've always joked about, but never thought I'd ever actually play. That's right, it's time to review “Hentai vs Evil”.
Let me start off by letting you know that there is no real plot. From what I can tell, there's been a zombie apocalypse instigated by grim reapers, with orcs thrown in. They've kidnapped abnormally busty girls for...reasons, I suppose? There's only three maps and two gameplay modes, neither of which have any story, so I'm just taking a guess. Hentai vs Evil is a third person shooter that...works, I suppose you could say. You have two game modes: rescue and survival. In rescue, you need to kill 12, or more, reapers and get to the cage holding a girl captive. The first two times you do this you unlock new characters. For survival mode, you see how long you can survive against waves of enemies.
Hentai vs Evil plays pretty simple. You pick up a gun at the beginning of a round, you shoot, you reload with your infinite ammo, you run, you...sort of jump, and you “aim”. I won't lie, the game is super simple, super easy, and isn't a whole lot of content. There are only three stages, combat is basic, and there isn't too much to it. I had the platinum for this game in about thirty minutes of game play. The aim function is basically pointless, as you don't really even aim any different. There's, like, a 5% zoom rate and that's it.
The jump is also just for fanservice really, as you get no height, it looks dumb, and all it really does is allow you to look up the skirt. The enemies are fairly squishy, with the zombies going down in a few shots, the orcs in about half an assault rifle clip, and the reapers in about a full clip or two, depending on headshots. There are also two possible temporary upgrades you can get by shooting these floating ammo crates in the sky. One upgrade basically turns all your shots into one-hit kills, and the other adds a burn effect to your shots.
There are a number of issues I found while playing, including a lot of instances of enemies clipping through, well, everything. Walls, other enemies, the floor. Lots of excitement. Also, the enemies seem to basically infinitely spawn, especially when you aren't looking. Or when you are. I literally ran into a three man group of spawning reapers. It was a little dumb. Two pro tips by the way: you can't swim, and shot distance is really far. If you get shin deep in water, you're dead. And you can fire really far, often to your detriment as you may nick a few enemies in the back, and then they'll start chasing you down. Also, reloading is a bit of a nuisance. While you can hold down fire to continuously fire, if you reload, then you can't keep holding fire, which is a bit of a nuisance.
In terms of graphics and music, there isn't too much to say. There's a lot of character customization, mostly boob and thigh size, but also clothes and other options. The music is pretty much just the one track, which is fine really since the game is so basic.
Summary
Overall, Hentai vs Evil was better than I was expecting. It definitely wasn't good, but it certainly wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. On the plus side, it's also pretty dang cheap. The game has a lot of room for improvement, but it isn't broken or unplayable. If you can stand the potential embarrassment of having this title in your library, you may as well take a look at it!
Score: 6.0 / 10
